the grinch was raised by LESBIANS

this one goes out to Clarnella and Rose Who: the unsung heroes of how the grinch stole christmas

First of all, wow wtf the live action movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas has been out for 20 YEARS. In the two decades it has been around, I have watched it countless times and firmly believe Jim Carrey deserves an Oscar for his role as The Grinch. I will not be taking questions at this time because I want to focus on the the overlooked lesbian icons hiding in plain sight.

The Lesbian Christmas Movie Discourse has been particularly buzzy since Hulu’s release of Happiest Season, or, as I like to call it, White People are Exhausting but Kristen Stewart and Aubrey Plaza Look Hot in Blazers. Is Happiest Season the lesbian Christmas movie we deserve? Absolutely not!!!

But we have Carol right?? That’s a lesbian Christmas movie!! Yes, you’re correct. We do have Carol, but we also have How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which predates it, and is thus the Original Lesbian Christmas Movie.

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The Grinch arrives via pumbersella — the flying basket carrying a swaddled baby with an umbrella-parachute atop it — and gets stuck in a tree outside Clarnella and Rose Who’s house. We can see a slice of what is happening inside their raging Christmas Eve party through the window, and the action shows a bunch of Who hands dropping keys into a bowl!!! They’re hosting a SWINGERS party! Or maybe an orgy! Either way, sounds queer to me.

Sex party aside, why would they get a baby delivered to their house if they’re not 1) a couple and 2) wanting to raise a child? Obviously they had to express interest in wanting a child because their surprise was less about the actual arrival of a child and more directed towards the indiscernible species of said child.

Speaking of indiscernible species — what species are Whos?? They seem mostly human, but their peculiar snouts lead me to believe that they’re a hybrid of sorts. Their snouts and buck teeth seem reminiscent of rodents, so maybe they’re human-rat hybrids whose entire society revolves around the adoration, anticipation, and celebration of Christmas.

Anyway, back to my lesbian Who moms — the Mayor of Whoville describes them as “old biddies’ during the Holiday Cheermeister celebration, so it totally makes sense that they’re lesbians, but the rest of their community regards them as old spinsters who just *happen* to live together because neither of them found a husband. A classic lesbian scenario!

Who cares what the other Whos think of them? They’re living their best cottagecore dream — knitting, baking Christmas cookies, and raising an anti-capitalist, anti-consumerist, fierce critic of the Christmas Present Industrial Complex. The lesbian dream, tbh.

If you, like everyone else, are feeling defeated by Happiest Season, please just watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas instead. If you’re thinking, “But wait! Why can’t I just watch Elf?” I mean, you could, but 1) there are no lesbians and 2) you’ll probably get angry as soon as you realize the mom in Elf and the mom in Happiest Season are played by the same person. Why not profess your love for Clarnella and Rose instead! Maybe come up with some headcanons or write some fanfic. They deserve your love and support!

Long live Clarnella and Rose, the original lesbian Christmas icons.